Debts Forgiven

A friend yesterday explained to me the origin of the word forgive. It started with the banks. When a client owed money and was near death, the bank would forgive the loan. The reasoning was that the efforts to collect money from the debtor was not worth it. Forgiven.

Webster Dictionary:
debt 1. something that is owed or that one is bound to pay to or perform for another. 2. a liability or obligation to pay or render something. 3. a sin, trespass.

In the Lord's Prayer, we ask:
Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.

We need to let go of our desire to hold on to what we feel that other's owe to us. Cut those strings of what we should be getting. It's not worth the effort. Likewise, we should not feel obligated to perform to the expectations of others.

When someone says or does something that offends me, I can hold a grudge, seek revenge, scream in rage. These are all reactions; ways of holding on to the trespasses. They feel icky, yucky, and weighted down with nastiness. The outcome will most likely spiral into more confrontation, negative energy, and a tie to the person in an unhealthy, energetic link.

Like Charlie Brown telling Lucy that she's wrong. She'll scream 'Block Head' in his face so hard, he'll be flipped backwards.

Healthy responses to offense include talking, walking away from a confrontational person, and sending positive energy out to the offender.

What is taken as a personal attack could be a big, giant, silly misunderstanding. Rather than getting upset, and stomping myself into a two-year old temper tantrum, I can ask the person what they meant. Because I may have taken offense to something that was not intended to be offensive. Explanations of how I perceived the words, mixed with clarification from the other person can save loads of grief. Block Head Bricks of grief.

If the offender had meant to offend, and is being unreasonable, then it may be a time for you to remove yourself from the situation. Make like a banana and split. Sticking around to make him behave in a way that you want, is holding on to a trespass.

Sending positive energy to a negative situation or person can be difficult, but do-able. The first time I did this, I was blown away at the results.

 I was arguing with someone. Then stopped, took a breath, and sent energy from my heart. The other person, unaware of what I was doing, changed. He jerked backwards a tiny bit, and stopped talking. Then, like a ray of sunlight bursting out during a hardcore winter snowstorm, our attitudes changed. We talked like our age, not our shoe size (as Prince the singer would say).

Forgiveness is not to be something we dangle over ourselves or others as a 'feel-good' emotional drama. But rather, a simple way of letting go of what does not serve us.

Because those debts get awfully heavy to hang onto.

Namaste,
Spiritual Lynx